Some evenings, I come up with a witty and scathing retort to something I heard earlier in the day. I can be sarcastic and smooth, with just enough spice to share my judgment of individuals who annoy or hurt me. Unable to find the courage to have a real conversation with the person, I invite my images of them (not invite their real selves, complicated children of God) to my dinner table and evening reflections.
It is so ironic that what starts all this is that their behaviour has put a mirror up to my foibles and failings to see Christ in our relationship. Without responding within the real relationship or through introspection and personal growth, I end up just continuing the hurt, torturing myself with resentment. What if I shook off the anxiety that arises in relationships, along with the dust of the day, instead of inviting the anxiety into my home or into the relationship? What if I trusted that God will interact with all who hurt or ignore me as God does with me-gracefully?
Merciful God, remind me each day that my growth into faith and maturity means letting go of resentment and anxiety and allowing your forgiving love into my difficult relationships. Amen. — LCS